Dysphoria
by Calamity in Motion
Summary: Dysphoria- a state of feeling acutely hopeless, uncomfortable, and unhappy. This is a continuation of my Becoming a Follower:One Shot. Mercy tries to get by in her new life while attempting to win back her heartless love. The Atrox has other plans.


**Author's note: I reread my Follower one shot and just couldn't let it end. The story won't stop bugging me so now of course, I have to add on to it. I've even found the perfect title.**

**Please enjoy**

**Dysphoria**

"You need to get up." He ripped down her curtain and kicked the stained mattress and crossed his arms. James didn't like laziness, not in his followers, and definitely not in her. Mercy groaned and stared out at the wall, but didn't move. She couldn't, not anymore. She felt like she would never smile again.

With a growl, James went down on one knee and grabbed her upper arms, yanking her up and shook her.

"I won't play this game with you anymore, Mercy. Tonight you will fill that void, but you must move."

She was limp in his arms, eyes casting a strang light across his face from the reflected moon. Inside her, the beast writhed, batting at its cage. It hated the silver orb, and sadly a part of her now did as well.

"I used to love the moon." She murmured, watching it despite the discomfort. James stood her up without a word and pulled her into the hall. Other followers watched from their own bed and couches as the new recruit was dragged into the kitchen. James pushed her into the counter and turned away.

"Don't move, Mercy." With that he stalked into the quasi-living room and called for a small group of followers. James had stepped into the cold fire, and was now immortal. His wish was that she follow. He'd always been strong. The type to finish whatever he started even if it didn't work out. He wasn't a quitter. Which ment he would climb his way through the ranks to the inner circle if he had to. The greatest honor for him would be to become a member of the _Infinti. _

"She rises." Tymmie appeared from the shadows and stepped in front of her. "No more wallowing, dearest Mercy?" he mocked and she tried to strike him, but her caught her wrist and yanked her close.

"Listen, no one needs another broken heart in this place. It's depressing enough without your constant crying and puppy eyes." When she tried to pull from his grip, he only tightened it and she whimpered. His eyes were hollow, but fierce. They locked with hers and he snuck into her mind.

"If you would just give in completely." He murmured, "There are ways to stop the pain, if only for a while. You can fill the void, Mercy." He forced a calm over her mind. A taste of the relief he promised. She couldn't help the sigh until she saw his grin.

"Get off of me." She spat and yanked back away from him. Tymmie held up his hands in surrender and let her walk passed him. As she entered the living room, he called out to her.

"You might as well, take what you can, princess. What else do we have?"

James was there when she turned, arms crossed and brow arched the way she used to love.

"You listen well." he said sarcastically and she flashed a fake grin.

"About as well as you comfort."

He wasn't impressed and took her by the arm. "We have things to do tonight, Mercy. The Atrox needs _Initiates. _We do our duty and find what peace we can."

"What, will we convert the world?" she asked as they sank into his sleek, black jag. There was silence from all the Followers as they waited for James' answer. He started the car, eyes flicking to her then peeled out of the driveway.

Tymmie and Karl followed behind in a beat up jeep. 5 other Followers crammed in the back. The jag held 4 and the others Mercy had never seen. She fiddled with the dash and propped up a goth-booted foot. James looked over a moment, ignoring on-coming traffic and pushed down her leg. God forbid she ruin his baby.

"We should hit the new parlor on Main." The guy behind James smiled with perfect teeth. I hear they're giving discounts on piercings this week. Most Followers were pierced freaks. Simply covered in the things. The Daughters thought it was to look more intense, but the reality was almost sad. They covered themselves in needles and blades to feel pain. To feel _anything _other than the ever-constant yearning inside. To escape the emptiness, they resorted to blood sports and jewelry. Mercy had been thinking about getting a ring or two of her own, see if the pain really helped.

"You'd looked great with an eyebrow and your tongue." James smirked at her from the drivers seat when her mouth fell open. Sometimes she forgot he could read her mind. Too bad he'd blocked his own. She'd need a mental jackhammer to break though _that_ wall. Closing it quickly, she turned to her window.

"Bring it on."

…

Her gut clenched the moment they entered the parlor. 6 artists: 4 boys 2 girls, and all radiated heat like beacons. She could feel the coiled hostility unfurling in her gut. The beast slowly waking at the smell of prey. She closed her eyes and stopped by the display counter, counting down from 20.

Arms snaked around her waist and she was pulled back against a lean, muscular body. She _felt _James, rather then saw him. Like he leaked a cold that went to the bone. It was hard to imagine something so beautiful was a soulless monster. His cool lips brushed her ear and she closed her eyes.

"I know what you're feeling. That urge to steal the life from their very bodies. I understand the hunger."

Her eyes drifted open and went to the artist near the back. His smile was the brightest, his laugh infectious for the others. She could almost feel the glowing life drawing into her, imagine the calm relief that would come after. Behind her, James chuckled.

"It isn't hard, Mercy. All it takes is a look and your will. It's almost fun sometimes."

She pulled from his arms and moved to the counter, catching her intended's eyes with a flirtatious wink. It was like she was on auto pilot. James and the other Follower browsed tattoo books while Karl and the initiate went from their newest trophies. They all seemed to be watching her though, as if they could sense her intent.

The artist made his way to the front counter with a charming smile, his blue eyes sparkling like sapphires. "What can I do for you?' he asked smoothly, giving her a quick once over.

Mercy leaned over the counter, getting close enough to feel the warmth from his skin. He took it as a come-on and smiled brightly. "I was thinking of getting my tongue done. And my belly button. Maybe something a bit more intense?"

"This way then." He said and she skirted around the counter to follow him into one of the rooms.

_Have fun._ It was James' voice in her head and Tymmie smirked at her when she passed. The artist, (Collin by his tag) motioned for her to sit in the padded chair in the last room and pulled on his disposable gloves.

"So." he began, arranging needles with a hand inked in webs. Both arms were sleeved beautifully and he'd begun on the corded muscle of his neck. A small thrill went through her at the thought of him holding her. Those big arms flexing as they-

_Should I be jealous?_ James asked with soft mocking. She grit her teeth and pictured a brick wall to block him out. It would work for a while until she let down her guard again.

"Your boyfriend isn't going to watch?"Collin sat down in a roller chair beside her and lifted a metal bar, "They usually love this kind of thing."

"He's not my boyfriend." Mercy clarified, not missing the darting glance at the door and tiny smile that fact gave him.

"You two seemed pretty…_close_ at the door." He wasn't looking at her, but she knew he was hanging onto her every word.

"We were together, once, but he…" she paused a moment, looking down, "Changed. Into something cruel."

This time he met her eyes, and there was genuine concern in his gaze now. "One of _those_? Why is it girls always go for the bad boys?" that bright smile of his returned, "Especially when there are perfectly good guys like me around."

Mercy laughed softly, simply wanting him to lean closer. She wanted to wrap herself around him, to be warm. Just for a while, but something told her if she did, he would be empty in the end. Like the parasite she was, she'd leech the life from his body. Sadly, that didn't bother her as much as it had only moments before.

"You saying you'd be good for me?" she asked with slow smile, leaning back in a way that showcased her trim form on the chair. His eyes roamed hungrily over her then met her own and he smiled. There was a brief moment where he looked unnerved so she dropped her gaze. He must have seen the creature in her grey eyes.

"It's strange." He said finally as she rolled her shirt up for him to disinfect her belly, "I've never felt drawn to someone, but…your eyes…" when he didn't finish, she glanced up.

"Yes?"

"It's like they pull me in."

Now her smile was wicked as the beast in her rattled its cage. "Is that a good thing?" she asked as he pressed the hollow needle to her skin.

"I don't really know."

Mercy hissed when the flesh gave way with a wet pop and the needle broke through. Collin worked fast to get a silver ring with a small black rose dangling from it top. When he pulled back to let her admire it, she couldn't stop her smile.

"I'd forgotten to choose one."

"It looked like it fit, so I grabbed it for you." He answered, then cleared his throat. "So, about your tongue…"

Mercy sat forward in the chair and touched his chest, "Where would you like it?"

His sapphire-blue eyes smoldered and he covered her hand with his, drawing it away. Just as she opened her mouth to protest, his lips muffled the sound and he drew her forward by the front of her jeans. Mercy popped off the chair and into his lap, straddling his legs as his free arm curled around her lower back. She moaned into his mouth and closed her eyes, seeing James. If he still did this to her. She wished he would. For now the image was enough to make her grasp his shoulders and arch forward.

Collin pulled back, and glanced at the door. Without a word, he reached over and turned the lock, trapping them inside. It was obvious what he expected the next few moments to hold, Mercy's beast roared in her head, and she clung to his warmth like it was her freedom.

This time, when he looked up at her, she darted into his mind and pushed all his impulses to the back of his memory. Collin paused, looking confused and she took that moment to slip her long fingers around the back of his neck and force him to look in to her eyes.

_Be in me. _She whispered across his mind and watched as his lips parted in the beginnings of fear. _Hush now. Just be in me._

Collin sucked in a breath as stronger voices called to him. Mercy could feel it, The Atrox whispering its promises to him. Assuring him that all would be alright if he only gave in. She remembered its soothing words to her.

_No more tears, little on. I will protect you. _Then it had shown her what would truly come of her alliance.

Emptiness. A blank, frigid existence littered with endless days. The need to survive was too strong to allow you to end the Hell with suicide, so you continued. Because that's all you could really do, _continue _until the Atrox was through with you and finally let it all end. It's why the beast went after younger lives. Longer shelf lives.

Collin suddenly whimpered, sounding very much like a child. Mercy covered his mouth, but didn't let him pull away, didn't let him break eye contact. As he began to fight, began to fade, her beast quieted. She felt the bone-deep cold fading and took a deep, relieved breath for the first time since her induction.

Collin was crying now, not loudly, just tiny sobs as he starred blankly up at her. He'd gotten passed the lies and knew what would come of his new existence. Unable to release him lest she loose her new warmth, Mercy did what no Follower did for their Initiates.

She soothed him.

"Hush, baby." She whispered, drawing him to her breast, and wrapping him in her arms. Collin drew a halted breath then sobbed again. She stroked his hair softly cooing to him, all the while drawing in his heat.

When James finally opened the door and pulled her away, Collin wasn't moving.

"You did good for your first time, Mercy." He said, but she knew it was only to keep her going. Collin had stopped warming her a long while back. When she didn't answer, he lifted her up, bridal style, and carried her from the room. The other artists watched them suspiciously and hurried into the room after them.

"Collin, what the hell did she do?" But Mercy pulled the answer to his lips instantly, even got him to fake a smile.

"She rocked my world."

There were laughs and whoops and he smiled for his friends, but she caught his frightened gaze over James' shoulder.

_What happens now?_

She rested her head on James and kissed his throat, sending her thoughts to Collin with a cold rush. _Nothing good. Be seein' you, baby._

They left the parlor to head for Planet Bang. The daughters would most likely be there, but that only made things interesting.

"So how do you feel?" Tymmie moved into pace beside James and smiled up at her.

For a moment, she only lay there, then a slow wicked smile spread across her lips because she felt…_wonderful_. Complete somehow. The boys high-fived and some bet money was exchanged while James swung her low enough to kiss. Her heart swelled and she pressed into him, turning the embrace into something hot and needy.

Yeah, they were gunna party tonight.


End file.
